The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
