we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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