i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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