Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize