She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
