I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
