he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I love you.
Bad choice
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
