I hope mine doesn't look like that
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize