I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
