This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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