flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
