wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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