I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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