oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I had to cum in my sink.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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