I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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