im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
