My underwear smells like fireworks.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
