I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Who died my cat blue again?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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