What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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