I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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