No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
