can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
