take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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