People with herpes should wear stickers.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
