this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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