i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
