Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
