it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
