If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
