pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
