Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
