did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
