so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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