I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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