Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So apparently I’m into choking now
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