So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
