Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
