no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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