I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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