For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
