Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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