she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
