Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
