Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am mentally ready for anal.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
