At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize