I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
