Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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