Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
