i permit you to call me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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