I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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