singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
