i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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