...so i touched it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize