We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
