Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize