I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
