My first STD was from a foam party
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
