i think i have herpe
just one?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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