btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
