Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
